While parental love often comes naturally, genuinely liking your children requires a deeper level of engagement. This means taking the time to truly understand them as unique individuals, beyond just the basic parent-child relationship. The distinction between loving and liking is crucial – love may be instinctive, but liking involves a conscious choice to connect.
Getting to know your children means recognizing them as separate beings with their own personalities, not mere extensions of yourself. It involves discovering the special qualities and talents Allah has bestowed upon them, and appreciating their individual potential to contribute to the world. This requires dedicated time and effort – engaging in meaningful conversations, sharing laughter, and creating genuine moments of connection.
Many parents provide material necessities but fail to offer emotional warmth. Children can sense when they are merely loved out of obligation rather than genuinely appreciated. The absence of verbal affection, physical affection, or genuine interest in their lives can leave lasting emotional scars, even when basic needs are met.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ exemplified the perfect balance of both loving and liking children. He openly expressed his love, saying “إني أحبك” (I love you) to those around him, including to Mu’adh. He demonstrated physical affection by kissing his children and grandchildren, and showed genuine interest in children’s feelings, as evidenced by his gentle interaction with the boy who lost his pet bird. His love was neither hidden nor complicated by stoicism or overwhelming responsibilities – it was pure, direct, and openly expressed.
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